can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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