So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
