Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
