I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
