She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
