Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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