i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
