So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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