yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
