so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize