She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
