I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
