I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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