Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How does one acquire holy water?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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