he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
