Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
