I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
