Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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