wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
