there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
