There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
