Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
