TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
be right there i have to get my cape
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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