My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Panties = found
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
