Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
