We're facebook friends in real life
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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