just tell him i said nine months
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm at about main and main street
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
