question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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