Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
