so that wasnt chicken after all
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
