Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
