p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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