hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
