i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
