i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
