Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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