who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
