I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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