Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I looked at my own cervix.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize