walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
