I cockslap morals
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
