I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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