no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
