i need an iv and a liver transplant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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