In the future we'll all be gay
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
