K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
