**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
