I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
