I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
