She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
