Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he told me I talked like a deaf person
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
