She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize