for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
