He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize