I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
