Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
