You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
