I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the condom got lost in my hair
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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